So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I need water and some morals
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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