Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize