If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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