Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Drunk is a universal language darling
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