i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize