Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
