Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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