If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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