the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize