it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you didnt know i had herpes?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
they're like a gay fantastic four
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
