I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
