I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
