please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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