It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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