now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
