New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize