I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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