the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just want nice things and good sex
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
