I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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