Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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