sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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