whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
