? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Sober January is a disaster.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize