nut hugger
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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