The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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