how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
