I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
