Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
