Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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