Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
