We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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