just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
