I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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