He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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