if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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