I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He better not be in your backpack
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
