so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
