Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize