BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
