i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
you traded sex for a burrito?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
