I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
