NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
