I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
