In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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