What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
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