I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
