i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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