saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
please come you make the beer taste better
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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