Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
