Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
