I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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