Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
