It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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