Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The struggles of a small town man whore
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
