I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
