If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
