wat bout pragnant strippers??
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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